01 — The standing order
I control wallets
Nath. Surrey lad, Chelsea season ticket, four years of this and 78,900 of you watching. I don't do sob stories and I don't do discounts. I post what my day costs and one of you covers it. That's the whole arrangement.
“My expectations for you are simple… Make my life cost free ✅”
02 — Reimbursements · today
Today's running order
This isn't a wish list. It's the day, it's already happening, and the only thing still up in the air is whose money it runs on. Tap a line to cover it.
03 — Stamford Bridge
Home and away
Chelsea, every week, in the seat one of you paid for. The kits, the travel and the pints in the ground all come off the same list. My sub TJ funded the training top I actually wanted — the main kits were trash.
“London/Surrey taxi subs — who's around to take me to Chelsea Thursday night & Sundays afternoon ⚽️🔥”
04 — Every week
Tax Friday
“The day of the week that shows the regulars from the one offs! Here we go it's tax Friday!” Pick a number and hit send. Friday doesn't care which one, it cares that it's there.
“Afternoon G00nGanG 😏… hit send on a cheeky £10, i know it feels right‼️”
“Fly home from Greece in 10 days… WHAT A LIFE‼️”
05 — The rotation
Wherever I am, you're paying for it
“Fly home from Greece in 10 days, then I'll be in the UK for 15 day before I head to Portugal! WHAT A LIFE‼️🇬🇷🇬🇧🇵🇹”
Corfu · Greece
“Who's wallets crawling over my way then! Serve me in the sun 🤤”
The beach
“90s on the beach because faqs don't deserve to see my 🦶🏼 for free 😏”
Dinner
“You taking me or the steak!? We both know it's me — now go tribute 🥩”
Lunch with a view
“This is where I belong 🌊”
06 — Chance
Wind it and let go
Nobody taps this one
You take hold of it, wind the chain back until the links go white hot, and let go. Pull it lazy and it slips through your hands. Pull it properly and the street shakes.
The number's random either way — effort only buys you the show.
Built off Top of the Chain, the track I dropped this week.
07 — Stock
The store
Same arrangement as everything else on this page: I set the price, you pay it, there's no haggling and there's one of each.
Shelves going up
The store's being built right now. What goes on it, what it costs and when the doors open — that lands on the timeline first, nowhere else.
Can't wait? There's already a list below. Put your money where your mouth is 😏
The Noble Ones
Subscribed to me five months or more? You're on a list I keep myself and don't publish. If you're on it you already know. If you're not, today's the day the counting starts.
08 — Submissions
Put it on the list
Something you want to cover that isn't on today's sheet — a kit, a bar tab, a flight, a PSN card, the survey bill on the house. Name it, name the figure, and I'll tell you if it's going on.
09 — Settlement
Pay up
“Where's the tribute GoonGang! We both know pixels make you weakAF 😏”